Insecure

Attended the Blessed Young Adult Camp at Santubong last night...
The speaker : Pastor Jay Koopman from America


His sermon was really great...


Many people serve the Lord...
To gain praises and apprval from others...
So that people around you to say : "You are great!!!"
"You are such a good man!!!
"Good Job!!!!"
Because we feel insecure...
We always put our eyes on HUMAN....
Not on God...

Initially, we are doing that thing for God...
We thought we are doing it for God...
This is good...
But, there is always a BUT...
When others praises us...
Our focuses will be "REFRACTED"...
We will feel good and proud of it...Definately...
This is a normal reaction actually...
Slowly, if the condition is getting more serious...
We will forget to give all the glory to God anymore...


Ya, I admit...
I always feel insecure...
Always wanting and desire others to comfirm me...

I admit...
Many times, or everytimes...
I do things...So that others can know what I had done...
Tell me, I'm good...

Hmph...
Though I know the word of God quite well...
I know God is always be with me...
And with God, nothing is impossible...
God had already comfirmed me actually...
But...
Hmph...
I hate BUT...

Leaders...
They are leading the cell group...
Worship team...
They are leading us to worship the Lord...
Anyway, all of us are still HUMAN...
So, we will always put our eyes on HUMAN...
Ya, we are doing things for God, in appearance...
In our heart...
Is it really like this???
We will still always concern about HUMAN's thinking and feelings...
More than what God thinks and feels...


May God forgive me...
May Holy spirit fills me...
And transform my heart...
Into what He want my heart to be...
May God heals my insecurity...